Since each individual in a marriage is created differently, each marriage is unique. My hope from this blog is that you gain insight on how to keep your marriage strong and divorce- proof.
I can testify Mike and I have been through turbulent times through our marriage and at one point were headed for divorce; however, our love was much stronger.
We realized we had the tools in our toolbox to make this marriage work; however, we just needed to “divorce- proof” our marriage! I am not saying we don’t have setbacks or arguments; however, we just use the necessary means to make things work so that we communicate in a loving manner and provide mutual respect towards each other.
We found it important to make Christ the center of our marriage. He was our first priority and next our marriage was the next priority. Yep, you read that correctly! We put our marriage above everything else. We make sure each night we spend time together regardless of how tired we are even if it is just for thirty minutes.
Some nights, we might watch a movie or sit and talk. Regardless of what we do, we spend time alone without the kids. We also plan date nights for at least once a month. They are not always elaborate or fancy but we go out and do something together. Sometimes our date nights consist of grocery shopping then grabbing a bite to eat.
Next, we focus on communication. We sit down, at least once a week, and have a spouse meeting about goals, family issues, finances, and whatever else is going on. In the past, we didn’t and decisions were being made by individuals instead of us as a couple. Now, we can calm conversation instead of letting things bottle up. We try to make it fun by playing romantic music in the background and drinking a glass of wine.
Another tool we use is coming together as a team when it comes to our children! During our spouse meeting, we discuss family issues that need to be brought to our children’s attention. We then discuss those items in our family meeting. We never want our children to feel attacked so we do it in the same manner as we do it for our spousal meeting. We try to make it fun, except without the wine and romantic music.
Each partner needs to show mutual respect towards each other. When you become shallow and name call it just leads to hurt and resentment. There isn’t any trust which breaks down communication. Mike and I try to remember to talk to each other as we are talking to Jesus or as if he is in the room.
After respect, there needs to be forgiveness in a marriage. You can’t hold onto the past or old baggage. God forgives us, so we must follow the same path. There will be times you will need grace in the marriage, so always give your partner grace.
Finally, make time for intimacy. It is an important part of marriage. I know we are stressed out, tired, and sometimes not insink with our partner, but we just need to schedule it! Your marriage needs it. Sometimes you need to think outside the box to bring the spunk back into your marriage. Send your spouse romantic texts during the day or call them to say I love you. Leave them notes where they will see it. Do what you need to do so the romance stays alive.
I encourage you to try one of these tips over the next week and slowly implement the rest! You got this!
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