Once Mike and I decided not to get a divorce, we made it a priority to fix our marriage. We knew we had to make Christ the center of our marriage in order to make it work. We needed to rely on His word and our faith to carry us through! If we did not do this, we would struggle for the rest of our life. We committed our marriage to God and asked him to protect our marriage.
The funny thing about our marriage is we never had full out battles or screaming wars, We just never communicated. We both just bottled things in until one day I had enough. We don’t do this anymore! We communicate. We have attended so many classes on communication and read so many books that we are kind of pros now! All kidding aside, we focus on communicating and making sure we are on the same page. We focus on spending time each day talking even if it is just 20 minutes. We have Spousal Meetings at least twice a month to go over things like the budget, our family life, household items, ect.
We surround ourselves with people who support our marriage. We spend time with couples who have a Christ-filled marriages and want to see the success of our marriage. We also choose friends who support our marriage and want to rally us on.
Mike and I schedule weekly dates. It might be just hanging out watching a movie or talking over a glass of wine. We may just hold each other but we make it a priority to spend time together. When the weather is nice, we go for walks. Once the quarantine is lifted, we will resume going out on actual dates, for now we hang out after the kids go to bed.
We have gone back to the little things we used to do when we first started dating such as leaving each other notes, leaving voicemails, and now we leave each other texts. We cook with each other and are more playful with each other.
Because we have kids, we sometimes have to schedule romance but that is okay! You have to do what you have to do! Romance is more than sex. It is about holding each other, laughing, sharing dreams, and it’s being their for each other! It is about saying I love you even when sometimes they drive you out of your mind!
We are in this for the long haul. We will work on our marriage day in and day out. We messed up once, and we will not mess up again. Once you put Christ in the center, there is no stopping your marriage!